🌧 Today, I Just Couldn't Show Up — And That’s Okay
Life update from someone trying to breathe again
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| “Sometimes life sends quiet signs. Today, mine was a simple word: ‘Tomare’ — stop. And so I did. I chose rest. I chose silence. I chose me.” |
Today, I was supposed to go to work.
I had every intention to show up, do my job, smile, and get through the day like always. But this morning... my body said no. And for once, I listened.
It started with my period, day one, the worst day. My stomach felt like it was twisting inside out. My body ached, heavy and weak. But it wasn’t just physical pain. There was a weight on my chest, a kind of fog in my head I couldn’t shake.
I sat there and suddenly felt this overwhelming need to rest. Not just sleep, but rest from everything. From people. From noise. From pretending I’m okay when I’m not. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t even want to explain myself.
It wasn’t laziness.
It wasn’t being irresponsible.
It was my body and brain asking for mercy.
Lately, I’ve been pushing through so much stress—little things, big things, the things I don’t even talk about because I just “let it pass.” But maybe I’ve been letting too much pass, letting too much build up inside me. And now it’s catching up.
I think my anxiety is trying to remind me it's still there. And maybe I should stop ignoring it.
Today, I stayed home.
I stayed in bed a little longer. I didn’t force myself to “be okay.” I didn’t try to explain myself to people who might not understand.
And for now, that’s enough.
If you're also tired—mentally, emotionally, or physically—please know this: It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not be okay.
You are not lazy. You are not weak.
You are just human. And humans get tired.
Be gentle with yourself. 🌿
We're not machines—we’re souls, hearts, and stories.
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